I recently broke up with my girlfriend of nine months so I decided to get some drinks with my friends to let loose. My friends were super excited cause they’d heard I was quite the player and they wanted to see me in action. I was at the Belmont bar when this cute girl gives me the eye. Here’s my chance. The only problem? I forgot how to talk to girls. All I can muster up is “are you on your period?” (she was drinking a cranberry vodka.) She walks away and I try to explain that cranberry is good for periods. Turns out its good for urinary tract infections. Like that’s any better…HOLYHANGOVER