Girls’ night out! We pre-partied at mi casa with more alcohol than Paris Hilton could consume in a night. Being the classy girls that we are, we decided to order a ton of Jack in the Crack. I got my usual, two Jumbo Jack’s with cheese, no meat. Beer, champagne, and an ample amount of ranch dressing and I’m shitfucked before 9.

Time to go to the club. We get ready and I coulda sworn the last time I looked at the clock it was 11.
Somehow got to MyHouse, no idea how we got there, vaguely remember meeting Raul, the gay Mexican designer who spoke no English. Next thing I remember is my girlfriend pulling me out of the club.

Pit stop…Jack in the Box. Yep, round two. Figured I’d mix it up and get two Jumbo Jack’s with cheese, no meat. Got back home, pigged out, and topped it off with 20 beers, a bottle of Yellowtail, and two huge bags of chips. Next thing I know, I wake up, drunk, to fucking whores, hitting me in the head with pillows. I’m kind of competitive…Now my friends won’t stop calling me Chyna…HOLYHANGOVER