Me, my twin brother, and some friends went to this crazy house party at some rich doctor’s mansion.  I cracked open a fresh handle of Jack and proceeded to drink about 75% of it.  I was wasted out of my mind after a bit and my brother forced me to leave.  He figured he’d better drive me home.  I was so pissed he made me leave that I talked trash to him the entire ride home.  Finally getting mad at me, he told me he was going to beat my ass when we got home. At this point I figured, “screw it” and jabbed him in the face 3 times (while he was still driving my drunk ass home).

He pulled into the driveway of my house, ran around the other side of the Jeep and pulled me out by my hair. I rolled under it for safety, but he managed to drag me out and got on top of me and started punching me in the sides of the head repeatedly.  He said, while he was punching me, that he’d avoid my face because I had to be on TV and had to make a living.  I couldn’t stop talking trash the entire time and was numb to the pain laughing throughout the entire beating.  A roommate tackled him finally. When he got up, he picked up a decorative log from the garden to beat my head in with.  I slept in the yard till the sun came up and then stumbled into the house and passed out on the couch.  The next morning (afternoon) I had cauliflower ear, bruised hairlines, and bumps all over my head.  It was the worst hangover of all time- EVER.  We sat on opposite ends of the couch and didn’t speak all day.  We watched 3 movies together, the last being “The Vikings” with Kirk Douglas and Tony Curtis.  At the end, Curtis’ character kills his arch nemesis, played by Douglas, only to find out it’s his brother. He is deeply saddened by this.  I smiled at my brother (it hurt to smile) and looked over at him and said, “Sorry about last night, I love you.  Thanks for not breaking my nose, again.”  He accepted and apologized too…HOLYHANGOVER!