A few weekends ago I went out with my uncle and two friends. We got plastered watching Machida the Dragon whoop ass in the Light Heavyweight Championship at an Irish pub we visit quite frequently. After shadow-boxing, imitating every punch thrown in the fight (quite badly I may add), my uncle and I decide to find a strip club. We show up but are too plastered, so they won’t let us in. My uncle doesn’t deal with rejection well so, logically, he takes a swing at the bouncer. Next thing I know they slam him to the ground and there are five huge bouncers piled on top of him. Somehow I miraculously defuse the situation and drag him out of there. Then, I black out. I wake up the next morning curled up in the fetal position on my living room floor with my roommate’s friend staring at me from the futon…HOLYHANGOVER